4 Woes of the Therapist and Healer

Hello, My name is Briana MacWilliam and I am a creative arts Therapist, reiki practitioner, author, educator and online entrepreneur.

Its my soul purpose to teach other therapists, coaches and healers how to scale their businesses beyond the 1:1 business model, online.

My signature program: THE ABUNDANT HEALER: 90 TO SCALE YOUR PRACTICE ONLINE teaches you how to create, launch, and scale online group coaching courses and/or passive income funnels, even if you have never made a dollar online, created a single lesson, or have no marketing list-in record time.

Most of what I am seeing in the responses of new members coming in to the group revolves around…

-not making enough money

-struggling to find consistent, high paying clients

-struggling with an overload of clients who pay with insurance, or low sliding scale fees

-not knowing how to market yourself and attract SOUL CLIENTS, which are clients that are MEANT to find you, so you may ascend together through the work you do together

Everyone’s situation is different, but often times, as therapists and healers, we tend to experience some of the same frustrations.

Does any of this sound familiar?

• You’ve had some success in starting a small private practice, but the referrals are few and far between, and high paying clients are even more scarce.
• “I’d love to work with you, but can you do a sliding scale?”
• “This is amazing; would you accept a trade for your services?”
• You love the autonomy but it has its price; you feel isolated and out of the loop, wanting to be a part of a community but not sure where you fit in.
• You thirst for a mentor that appears grounded, has had financial success, and is still authentic, approachable, and respects your boundaries
• You’ve done a ton of training but something is still missing; you feel like you have plateaued in your practice and/or in your skill sets.
• Or maybe you work for an agency that undervalues your skills, and everyday feels like an uphill climb, battling bureaucracy while trying to financially support your soul purpose
• You have to justify the important service you offer as “real work”
• You’re afraid to tell people what you do, because they might box it into “woo-woo”
• And the bills keep piling up.

You don’t have to tell me…it’s rough out there!

In my experience as a creative arts therapist and healer, there are four common woes that lower our energy and enthusiasm as practitioners. For the purposes of this exploration, I’ve assigned each of them a character type.

1. The Magician. How many times have you gone to work, and instead of feeling like an effective therapist, you feel like an entertainer, worried about what trick you’ll have to have to pull out of your hat for the next group? And sometimes it’s even a surprise to yourself what you manage to come up with! Other times, particularly for coaches and healers, clients come to you for immediate, “fix-it-now” solutions and expect you to magically solve all their problems in one 45-minute session. The craving quality of their energy leaves you feeling drained and inadequate, maybe even bordering on burned out.
2. The Paper-Pusher. Do you ever feel like what was supposed to be a job to help people heal has turned you into a sleep-deprived paper-pusher? You always have one eye on the clock and the other on a check box. What precious time you have to spend with clients gets buried under audits, progress notes, treatment plans, supply orders, invoices, receipts, sign in sheets, insurance claims, and so on. Or if you are in private practice, you may struggle to promote yourself effectively, and feel overwhelmed by bills, audits, progress notes, receipts, supply costs, newsletters, technology and more. It’s nearly impossible to do the work you were meant to do with so many seemingly unimportant administrative concerns getting in the way!
3. The Squeaky Wheel. Maybe the client interactions your job are great, but the bureaucracy of the agencies or institutions you might work for overshadow any joy you might derive from them. Or maybe it’s impossible to find a decent, affordable work space that accommodates all your necessary accoutrements and bobbles. Your superiors (or their superiors) don’t respect boundaries, and don’t understand the value of what you do. Every little request feels like an uphill battle and a challenge to justify your contribution to the whole. And so you either become a squeaky wheel, or have your space commandeered as a storage closet, or your time slot is usurped by some opportunistic upstart.
4. The Lone Wolf. Or, perhaps, in private practice, you feel isolated and stuck on how to stay relevant and/or take your expertise to the next level. Like a wolf, you derive pleasure and purpose from feeling part of a pack, but the unique nature of what you do and how you think, leaves you feeling like the odd one out in the communities you belong to.

If any of these sound familiar, I promise you, you are not alone!

To my mind, each of these characters are constrained by one common flaw, whether you are working on your own or for an institution or agency: They all rely on a 1:1 business model.

And 1:1 business model is characterized by one thing: serving only one client at a time.

Or maybe its a handful of people in a small group, or a bunch of people in a larger space, but still, your reach will always be constrained by three things…

Space.

Time.

Money.

Fact #1: Space is great. If you can find a wonderful space, more power to you. But space these days, is not necessary, in fact, it’s actually a hinderance…when compared to the extent of your reach online.  If you are willing to consider working remotely, this opens up tremendous possibilities for you (especially if money is an obstacle to obtaining space).

Fact #2: Time is a more precious commodity than money. I’ll say that again, YOUR TIME IS MORE VALUABLE THAN YOUR MONEY. And amazingly, with the ability to translate your skills online, you can make MORE money, for LESS time. Plus,  if you take space out of the equation, you can get even more time by cutting out the commute, and saving dollars on rent.

Fact #3: To make money, you have to spend money. But too often we spend our money while feeling terrible about it, riddled with fear. We worry that it was ill spent, or we won’t make the money back on our investments. Additionally, a lot of therapists and healers have scarcity attitudes, and so they just don’t know how much money they need to invest back in their businesses to make an impact.  And they are SUPER gun shy in the realms of social media and paid advertising.

But guess what? If you want a steady stream of what I call, “soul clients” you’ll have to shift your money mindset.

In my program, THE ABUNDANT HEALER: 90 DAYS TO SCALE YOUR PRACTICE ONLINE, I teach you how to do just that.

We also teach you how to create, launch, and scale online group coaching courses and/or passive income funnels, even if you have never made a dollar online, created a single lesson, or have no marketing list-in record time.

Now, if you are interested in attracting more abundance, clients and cash flow, all while honoring your Soul Purpose, you can book a FREE consultation with me, or download my super sexy 9-step framework for building an abundant practice.

90 DAYS TO SCALE YOUR PRACTICE ONLINE

Book a Consultation Call

I look forward to learning more about how I can help you scale your business!

And just a heads up, Early Bird enrollment opens in April for the program. So keep your eyes open for a registration link for a FREE mindset challenge we have coming up in honor of the open enrollment period. This whole month I am going to be showing up here live to help you start shifting your mindset and envisioning yourself stepping into the online stratosphere.

Xoxo

Briana

Licensed Creative Arts Therapist, Author, Educator & Reiki Practitioner

Brianamacwilliam.com

CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com

TheAbundantHealer.net

[Attachment in Adulthood] 3 Exercises to Embrace Wonder, After Loss

I happen to moderate a private Facebook group called Healing Attachment Wounds, which provides psychoeducational content to over 1,300 members, on attachment related issues.

Specifically, the group  is for individuals who are ready to regain their ability to navigate life in a new way – by what FEELS TRUE. To stop being held back by comparing, doubting, waiting for something to improve.

The underlying premise is you CANNOT make radical transformations, or attract financial, romantic, familial, spiritual, or professional abundance into your life ALONE.

And you certainly can’t do it with the same behavioral patterns and mindset you’ve always had.

But mindset is often what trips us up on the path to finding love and spiritual alignment.

Upon entering the group, members report…

-“I still believe I can find the love I crave so badly.However my open mindedness has got to reach a limit at some point.I don’t want to become so jaded that I don’t end up finding it.”

-“I struggle with anxiety, fears around intimacy, trust issues, healthy boundaries.”

-“I hate being alone and i never feel good enough. I also don’t know what makes me happy anymore.”

-“I struggled with the ability to see what I deserve.”

-“I am hurting and trying to understand how it would never work for the both of us and let go gracefully.”

I have noticed stories of pain, feelings of rejection, confusion around what happened, and a desperation around figuring out how to fix or make things better, on the newsfeed as well.

But I just want to remind everyone, this group is more than just a place to share your pain, its also a place to be inspired and to learn more about how to expand your consciousness and create space around these experiences so that they don’t become your scars, but rather lines that demarcate the greatest transformations of your life.

Socrates said: “Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.”

But wisdom is not the result of accumulated experience. Oh, no. Experience alone can leave you feeling as if you’ve been through a meat grinder, but it is wonder that puts that experience into context, and inspires you to get back up again.

After we have experienced a major loss of an attachment figure, we may lose touch with our sense of wonder, or, on the other hand,, become uncharacteristically– more open to it.  

 

In today’s video, I wanted to further explore this concept of wonder, responding to three questions…

“What is wonder?”

“What is wonder’s relationship to pain?”

“How can wonder help me take charge of my life, again?”

and recommend 3 exercises for embracing it in your life, after loss.

First, let us ponder the question, “What is wonder?”

To my mind, wonder is a willingness to learn from despair. It is wonder that allows us to realize that ultimately nothing is lost and we are always connected. For a moment, we are snatched away from ourselves transfixed by the wonder of the universe.

Imagine hiking up a mountain, your feet are sore, you’re sweating, you were tired, you thirsty, and perhaps you are regretting your decision to climb the mountain all!

But then you get to the top and you look out at a tremendous Vista, and you get a wondrous sense of accomplishment. As big as this feeling is, alongside it there is equally this feeling of being small as you stare out at how large the expanse is before you.

Many things that you felt were important seem to melt away. They will come back, but for a moment you willingly release them. And in that empty space, there is room for a possibility. There is room for play. There is room for freedom from control or being controlled. And that is wonder.

It’s like after you’ve taken a big inhalation, there is a long exhalation, and you’ll notice, at the end of it, there is a pause. A a few beats of your heart that demand no oxygen, and in the moment of suspension we still just enough to hear the whisper of our soul.

The sense of wonder speaks of our hunger to be moved, to be engaged and impassioned with the world and take pleasure in it, attuned to it and fascinated by it. Grateful for it.

It’s our desire to feel radically alive rather than bored and disinterested, or so caught up in the toils and troubles of daily life that we miss out on its multitudes of marvels.

It’s our desire to part the curtain and get a load of the grander scheme. A desire to make known The Nature of Things.

Wonder compels us to continually seek out these enlivening moments. What David Whyte calls “the conversational nature of reality.”

It is in that space that we we discover our essential artist. That aspect of ourselves that never forgot how to create things. But never quite excepted the expressions “I can’t draw,“ or “I can’t do this, I can’t do that.”

With creative acts we get in touch with our source energy, and that provides the apparatus through which funnels the fulfillment of all desire. And it is our connecting to Nature that sparks creativity.

In fact, journalist and researcher Marghanita Laski found that the most common triggers for transcendental ecstasies come from nature. In particular, her survey revealed that water, mountains, trees, and flowers; dusk, sunrise, sunlight; dramatically bad weather and spring were often a catalyst for feeling ecstatic. Laski hypothesized that feelings of ecstasy were a psychological and emotional response that was wired into human biology.

And so this leads to our first exercise to help you recover your sense of wonder, after loss.

Exercise #1: Name at least one aspect of nature that awes you; that overwhelms you with its beauty or power.

Now, you might ask, “What is wonder’s relationship to pain?”

It is through periods of strife, or what we might call contrast, that we best appreciate wonder. Because wonder and despair are two sides of the same coin. When you open yourself up to one you open yourself up to the other. If you are able to find Grace on the other side of despair wonder and creativity are The fruits of that restoration.

As deeply as you dive, is as high as you will rise. Christina Baldwin says, “As far as you are willing to venture into the shadow so far you may venture into the light.”

I used to worry about releasing my pain. There was a part of me that felt if I were happy then I would have nothing left to write about. That my creative expression would become watered down or trite. That the seeds of my most intriguing art products were found in suffering. And worst of all I would betray the parts of myself that we’re still loyal to when I had lost.

But are there not as many love songs as there are sad songs? And are not both as equally as beautiful, moving and valid?

Still most of us develop a pretty extensive vocabulary for describing our pain. But the true robust quality of our experience cannot be expressed without developing an equally expensive vocabulary for joy, ecstasy, love, and transformation.

Exercise #2: Identify at least one creative work -a song, a painting, a dance, a story, a movie, a poem, etc.- that moves you, that you find beautiful, and that sprung from pain. Then identify something beautiful that moves you just as equally, that sprung from joy.

Lastly, you might ask, “How can wonder help me take charge of my life again?”

If we remain in the dark place yes, we are human in our rawest form, but we attract and become sensitized only to that which convinces us that our victimhood. Or our aloneness, of our isolation. Of our essential unworthiness.

If we are able to cultivate a vocabulary for that which wonder makes accessible to us, then, yes, we are raw but instead of one option there are now two, close down further, or split wide open.

I had a professor who wants told me, “a broken heart is an open heart.“

If we decide to close down further we ultimately die a very slow death. There is an atrophy that occurs in our hearts. If we open up further we not only survive but we live.

Maybe we don’t notice right away that we have turned some kind of spiritual corner and that a new life has begun. But, nonetheless, Regeneration and hope has creeped in, like the the sunlight slowly warming a room.

And so it is wonder that allows you to live to endure, and to assign meaning to your experiences. To assume authority of your life and again take charge of it.

End it is that pursuit, and cultivation of meaning that ultimately returns to us our sense of efficacy. It’s what gives us control of our lives again.

Of course, we all are getting along through life as best we can, but have you decided on that?

Exercise #3: So right now I’d like you to write down one decision that you will make tomorrow morning when you wake up. One small decision about your day. About how you will move through that day no matter what happens.

You might even think of it as a social experiment.

For example,“I decide to be kind to anyone that is rude to me today.“

Or, It May be a decision to reduce your stress responses:“Whenever I feel anxious or upset, I will attend to my breath and count to five breaths before I respond to any given situation.”

Or maybe it’ll be a decision to improve yourself care practices: “I decide to make one healthy food choice, for every unhealthy food choice I make.”

I recommend making it a small thing that you could implement pretty easily, and ultimately witness the authority that you do have to make a decision and see it through.

As you get good at stacking your decisions like this, you can make them bigger and bigger intentions.

How will you start taking charge of your life, with one little decision, tomorrow? I’d love  to hear what your decisions are in the comments below.

If you’ve ever wondered…

*”How do I know if my feelings are real?”

*”How do I stop wanting for someone that I KNOW is terrible for me?”

*”How do I stop self-sabotaging, when it comes to my love life?”

*”How do I learn to trust my gut, when it got me into this mess?”

“How do I approach my relationships from a place of consciousness and personal responsibility?”

*”How do I quiet the inner judge and learn to embrace myself with love?”

*”How do I stop trying to save my partners from themselves?”

*”How do I make myself more comfortable with emotional intimacy?”

 

The 5- Days to Ignite Your Love Light challenge is perfect for you!

REGISTER HERE: https://goo.gl/bbDT4E

Over the course of this challenge, you will learn…

*How to take the fear out of your desire

*How to identify and release two important types of limiting beliefs

*How to use mindfulness and creativity to practice being in a loving vibration

*How to show up for an ascended love partner

This challenge includes…

*5 Daily live streams and lessons

*5 Daily emails, including a synopsis and daily assignment

*Access to a recap page for any days you might miss

*Exclusive access to a live Q & A on Day 5

*A Guided Soul Journey on Day 5

*Access to the private Facebook group for Healing Attachment Wounds

*A special bonus offer on Day 5, for continuing your journey!

If you are ready to call in a soul-shaking, passionate partnership, from a place of energetic alignment and self-love, in only 5 days…

REGISTER HERE: https://goo.gl/bbDT4E

 

Xoxo

Briana

Licensed Creative Arts Therapist, Author, Educator & Reiki Practitioner

Brianamacwilliam.com

CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com

TheAbundantHealer.net

YouTube Channel

The Enlightened Lover: 4 Attachment Styles Demystified in 60 Minutes

Dearest Subscriber,

Thank you for being a subscriber and for expressing an interest in Attachment!

I am super excited to share an upcoming training opportunity on the subject, as it pertains to adult, romantic relationships.

This training is also worth 1.0 CE contact hours for LCATs in New York State (scroll to the bottom for more detail on that).

Any questions, feel free to hit “reply.”

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Are you looking for a passionate partnership with someone who excites you, and is interested in a loving, ENLIGHTENED, soul-deep relationship?

Yet, no matter how hard you try, you always seem to find yourself back in those same old patterns, with partners that…

• Don’t appreciate you, and take your generosity for granted
• Show up with fireworks one day, and then disappear without explanation the next
• Treat you like an intimate partner, but don’t give you any physical intimacy
• Or they only seem to be interested in sex, but exclude you from other aspects of their lives
• Avoid labeling the relationship and make you feel neurotic for needing it
• Behave in a needlessly secretive fashion
• Ignore you for weeks then text “miss you” at 2am

Or maybe your partner is…

• Intrusive and over-controlling
• Monitors every move you make
• Has high demands and never gives you any space
• Takes everything personally, and over analyzes everything you say
• Interprets most situations in the negative
• Presses for too much too fast
• Doesn’t respect your boundaries or a need for space
• Expects you to read their mind, and blows up when you don’t
• Is hot one minute and cold the next

And with all of this, maybe you start to doubt your own judgement.

Maybe you’ve been classified as “sensitive” or empathic or anxious.

Maybe somewhere along the way you’ve learned to distrust your OWN FEELINGS.

Maybe you have simply ‘settled’ all your life, tending to those around you.

Maybe you feel vague and chameleony about life, uncomfortable with standing out and being seen and heard.

Perhaps your environment caused you to WILT and self-forget…

That ends NOW.

Gain valuable insight into how your style of loving could be helping or hindering your relationships, when you attend this FREE TRAINING and webinar…

THE ENLIGHTENED LOVER: 4 ATTACHMENT STYLES DEMYSTIFIED IN 60 MINUTES.

REGISTER HERE: https://goo.gl/HvYrdX

For example, which one of these sounds like you?

A.”I don’t like being confined by labels. Whatever me and whoever are up to, is our own business. Labels set you up to fail because they create unrealistic expectations, and that’s not reality.”

I refer to individuals with this kind of attachment style as  Rolling Stones (in the literature, this is considered an “avoidant attachment style”). Rolling Stones are typically hard workers, get the job done. While they typically have a low tolerance for vulnerability and emotionality in themselves, they are both drawn to, and afraid of, those characteristics in their partners.

B. “When my partners out with their friends, I wonder what they’re up to and feel kinda left out. Why wouldn’t I be invited? Why do they have to shut me out of that part of their life like that? If we’re ‘together,’ we should be together!”

I refer to individuals with this kind of attachment style as Open Hearts (in the literature, this is referred to as an “anxious attachment style”). Open Hearts are extremely loving, supportive, and generous in their partnerships. They often want to spend all their time with you. They are loyal, enduring, and are the first to show up when you need someone. As a result, sometimes they can become people pleasers that over extend themselves and wind up feeling depleted, abandoned, and resentful.

C. “I give my partner their space, and do my own thing too. It only seems to strengthen our relationship because we really respect our mutual need for independence and private time. When we come together again, we have so much more to share on an intimate level.”

I refer to individuals with this kind of attachment style as Cornerstones (in the literature, this is referred to as “secure attachment style”). Cornerstones are typically stable and consistent partners who do what they say, and say what they mean. They are not afraid of intimacy, nor of giving their partners some space. They understand the gray areas in life, and so they also tend to be de-escalators, when it comes to romantic conflicts.

D. “We like to hang out together and do everything together. We’re so connected, we finish each other’s sentences. That is, before it goes sour and my partner usually turns into a drama queen, or starts ignoring me for no reason.”

I refer to individuals with this kind of attachment style as being the Spice of Life (in the literature, this is referred to as “disorganized  or anxious-avoidant attachment style”). Spice of Lifers typically feel their  highs and lows with depth and poignancy, to the point where they are probably sick of being told they are too “intense.” They are often creative, charismatic, empathic and can read a room like nobody’s business. They may, at times, wield this power over others in the form of manipulation. However, this is usually motivated by a deep need for understanding and connection, while at the same time struggling with a fear of rejection, abandonment, and losing control of themselves.

Each one of these “attachment styles” comes with its own strengths and pitfalls.

There is no right or wrong way to be, but sometimes the VERY sensitivity that is our gift, can also choke us with fear, self-doubt, and thin boundaries, when it comes to love.

Knowing your attachment style and the style of your partner can unlock a WEALTH of information about how to find and build the kind of PASSIONATE, SUPPORTIVE, and SPIRITUALLY NOURISHING relationship you may be looking for.

WHAT IF…

-What if you didn’t have to be overwhelmed with anxiety and fear in relationships?
-What if you weren’t afraid to be fully emotionally present, or felt smothered anytime real intimacy presented an opportunity to you?
-What if you didn’t have to control every little aspect of the relationship?
-What if things flowed with ease, and pleasure and play was the norm between you and your partner?
-What if sex and emotional intimacy were experienced and celebrated as a unified and sensual spiritual experience?

If you’re ready to…

-BREAK FREE from unhealthy patterns of living and loving…
-Leave behind the FANTASY of perfection that keeps us IMPRISONED in a perpetual cycle of pain, abandonment, rejection and longing…
-Step into TRUE LOVE, in all its beautiful messiness…

Than this FREE training is perfect for you!

REGISTER HERE: https://goo.gl/HvYrdX

After attending this FREE training, you will be able to identify…

-The 4 Attachment styles and how they may be helping or hindering your love life 
-8 Mindful tips for working with insecure attachment 
-1 Experiential exercise using creative arts therapies approaches, to start healing insecure attachment

If you’re intrigued, and ready to take charge of your love life…

REGISTER HERE: https://goo.gl/HvYrdX

Don’t you think it’s time to stop struggling with the same behavioral patterns, social conditioning, and mindset blocks you’ve always had?

Transformation is rarely linear, sometimes progress feels like fear, and TRUST is a verb.

Wherever you may be on your romantic journey, let this FREE TRAINING be the first step towards CONSCIOUSLY CREATING a love life that makes your heart SING, and help you to TRUST THE PROCESS!!

REGISTER HERE: https://goo.gl/HvYrdX

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CONTINUING EDUCATION OPPORTUNITY

For all you creative arts therapists, this training is worth 1.0 LIVE CE contact hours for LCATs in New York State.

If you are interested in obtaining the contact hours, you will need to pay a $35 fee to take the assessment and evaluation, and receive the certificate.

To learn more, you can go here.

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Hope to see you there!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

2 Reasons Why Anxiety Pops Up Out of Nowhere

My Darling Subscribers,

I have the privilege of moderating a private, psycho-educational Facebook group of over 800 individuals who authentically show up every day to share their stories, provide support and feedback to each other, and ask GREAT questions.

I have recently committed myself to showing up every day in the group, for 30 days, to provide a live stream video to either address member questions, or share new information on something that interests me.

Two questions popped up recently and I thought they were good questions, so I wanted to share my response with you.

1. What are some clinical book recommendations on attachment theory?
2. Why does anxiety pop up out of nowhere?

For a quick overview, my favorite CLINICAL books include…

• Attachment Psychotherapy by David Wallin
• Trauma and the Avoidant Client by Robert Muller
• Interdependent Minds, by Murray and Holmes (no attachment theory specific, but a good read for couples struggling with such issues)

With respect to the question, why does anxiety pop up out of nowhere?

I chose to discuss this primarily from a psycho-spiritual perspective.

And it revolves around two things:

1. The body being the first organizer of experience
2. The role of the transcendental self

I invite you to watch the video above to get the full explanation.

Please leave me your questions and comments below and we can answer them too!

If you would like to join our private group, you can do so HERE.

Be sure to subscribe if you want more content like this in your feed 🙂

Warmest regards,

Hope to see you there!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

(Day 3 of 3) The Cure for Procrastination: Treating Work Like Play…

Dearest Reach-for-the-Stars Subscriber,

As we start turning out minds and hearts towards the task of setting our goals and resolutions for 2018, I invite you to day three of our exploration of procrastination.

The major insight we have gained so far:

It used to be that psychologists thought people who procrastinate have a faulty sense of time, but recent research suggests procrastination is linked to emotional regulation.

On day one, we explored forgiveness and self-compassion as the first of three useful approaches to counteracting the negative effects of procrastination.

On day two, we examined a few different tips for breaking up large, overwhelming tasks into bite-sized portions.

Today, I would like to explore ‘treating work like play’ as a way to avoid procrastination, and its ill effects. 

Treating Work Like Play…

Chronic procrastinators have perpetual problems finishing tasks, while situational ones delay based on the task itself;  that is, when people view a task in an unpleasant manner (“It will be tough, boring, painful…”), they are more likely to put it off.

Research suggests adding a touch of playfulness to the task, may be just the ticket.

For example, Tice and Ferrari (2000) teamed up to do a study that put the ill effects of procrastination into context. They brought students into a lab and told them at the end of the session they’d be engaging in a math puzzle. Some were told the task was a meaningful test of their cognitive abilities, while others were told that it was designed to be meaningless and fun.

Before doing the puzzle, the students had an interim period during which they could prepare for the task or mess around with games, like Tetris.

And guess what happened?

Chronic procrastinators only delayed practice on the puzzle when it was described as a cognitive evaluation.

When it was described as fun, they behaved no differently from non-procrastinators!

Anything you enjoy, you’re naturally going to do a better job with and give more of yourself to. So, making your tasks are something you look forward to, rather than simply a responsibility, is essential.

Sometimes its hard to find enjoyment in our work, however. Even if we enjoy the interactions with our clients, the bureaucracy of the agency we work for might be toxic, or there may be that one supervisor that seems to have it in for you.

Here are few small, practical suggestions to help make these situations more enjoyable…

1. Create a communal ritual. 

In my first hospital job, everyone started out hating rounds and staring at the clock until it was over. Then a new unit chief was hired, and suggested that twice a month we would do a potluck brunch, during rounds, on Fridays.

At first, most people were lazy and there would be 5 boxes of munchkins on the table. Over time, however, people started bringing in their secret recipes and traditional family foods. And opened up about the stories behind them.

The boost to morale was phenomenal!

There was a lot more laughter and light-heartedness amongst the staff, and even though rounds would go an extra hour long, the work flow actually became more efficient and productive.

2. Make gift giving a regular thing.

This doesn’t have to be extravagant.

At one of my jobs working at a brain research and diagnostic facility, I shared a similar taste for dark chocolate with my clinic supervisor and front office manager.

The facility looked down upon sugary foods, however, because it promoted a particular kind of diet to support brain health.

Fair enough…but we still liked dark chocolate!

So, every so often one of us would leave a surprise chocolate stuffed in a desk drawer or hidden behind the computer screen with a little note of appreciation.

It would always make me feel good to both give and receive those sweet treats!

3. Bedazzle your workspace. 

And by ‘bedazzle’ I mean glue rhinestones to the walls (or cubicle partitions) in snowflake patterns…

Just kidding! (…or not.)

Decorate your work space so that its a place you enjoy being. Pin up motivational quotes, pictures of tropical beaches, art work, or maybe a photo of your pet.

You might even keep any cards, thank you notes, or email from clients or coworkers that made you smile (HIPPA compliant, of course).

Above my desk, I have a “The Doers Manifesto” and this always keeps me motivated and on task.

4. Radically change your attitude towards “work,” even if it means leaving your job.

The biggest thing I did to turn my struggle with procrastination around,  was leave the-nine-to-five and go into business for myself.

Since then, I’ve never “worked” a day again.

It actually makes you sound super boring when someone asks you, “What do you do for fun?”

And you honestly have to say, “My job.”

The other night, I was on a first date, actually, and the gentleman seemed surprised by my answer. He then asked me to expand on it.

I was delighted to.

Fifteen minutes later, when I finally stopped waving my hands around and decided to take a breath, he asked, “So…does this ever turn off?”

Apparently he wasn’t QUITE as enthralled by the connections between successful sales funnels and chakra energies.

I have a lot of control over my time.  I can work on a thing for an hour or two and if I get tired of it, I can move onto another thing.

I have actually built into my schedule time broken up into little bite sized portions.

Here’s a glimpse of my schedule…

• Mondays I do all the preparatory and maintenance work for my online school, CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com. 
• Tuesdays I have group supervision, and commit myself to new consultations or my own professional development.
• Wednesdays, I dedicate the entire day to teaching at Pratt Institute.
• Thursdays, I dedicate the entire day to private practice and seeing individual clients.
• Fridays are all remote sessions, whether it is psycho-educational coaching, coaching the trainees in my ABUNDANT HEALER program, or new consultations.

I am NEVER bored.

Admittedly, sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. But its like…

You know when you have a good workout, and your muscles feel a bit sore for a couple days after?

But you don’t really mind. And if you complain about it, its really more like bragging,  because its proof that you accomplished something.

I had a gym instructor once say to me, “pain is just fear leaving the body.”

Yeah.

It’s like that.

Everyday, even if its a long one, feels more and more like fear taking its leave.

So, as you creep towards 2018  and start to consider those oh-so-important New Year’s resolutions, consider these tips to help you stay on track!

Furthermore, I encourage you to check out the amazing discounted offers and FREE trainings I have below, to help expand your horizons and make AMAZING and GROUNDBREAKING changes in your life, in 2018.

As always feel free to replay with questions, comments, concerns, and high fives!

---

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

Hope to see you there!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

P.S. JOIN OUR PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP!

(Day 2 of 3) The Cure For Procrastination: Bite-Sized Portions

Research that claims three things can improve your situation, if you are a chronic procrastinator…

• Forgiving yourself.
• Breaking your tasks up into bite-sized portions.
• Treating work like play.

Yesterday, we explored the evidence supporting forgiving yourself, as a way to overcome chronic procrastination. If you missed it, you can catch it here, on my blog.

Today, I would like to take a closer look at ‘Breaking your tasks up into bite-sized portions.’

Cuz Breaking Up is Hard to Do…

It used to be that psychologists thought people who procrastinate have a faulty sense of time, but recent research suggests procrastination is linked to emotional regulation.

There’s no single type of procrastinator, but several general impressions have emerged over years of research.

Chronic procrastinators have perpetual problems finishing tasks, while situational ones delay based on the task itself;  that is, when people view a task in an unpleasant manner (“It will be tough, boring, painful…”), they are more likely to put it off.

A perfect storm of procrastination occurs when an unpleasant task meets a person who’s high in impulsivity and low in self-discipline.

One of the things we talked about yesterday is the tendency of the procrastinator to seek short-term escapes to relieve feelings of tension, stress, shame, guilty and so on, but this hinders the procrastinator’s ability to absorb any meaningful insight or lessons from sitting with the tension.

Sirois and Pychyl propose the idea that procrastinators comfort themselves in the present with the false belief that they’ll be more emotionally equipped to handle a task in the future.

Sirois believes the best way to eliminate the need for short-term mood fixes is to find something positive or worthwhile about the task itself, and to break it up into smaller tasks that are manageable and more achievable.

How do you do that?

In addition to breaking up a big task in to bite-sized portions,
here’s a summary of 4 of Dr. Lombardo‘s suggestions…

1. Stop catastrophizing. One of the biggest reasons people procrastinate is because they catastrophize, or make a huge deal out of something.

2. Focus on the benefits, and why its meaningful to you. If you’ve been putting off cleaning out a closet, imagine walking into the closet when it is decluttered and how good that will feel.

3. Set realistic deadlines. You need to schedule when you are going to work on a project and block out that time, just as you would an important meeting. And be realistic about your routines; if you know you’re a night owl don’t plan to get up an hour early to start that new exercise routine–you’ll be setting yourself up to fail.

4. Optimize your environment. Your environment can help or hinder your productivity. During your scheduled block of time for working on a particular task, close your email and IM, turn off your phone.

So as you creep towards 2018  and start to consider those oh-so-important New Year’s resolutions, consider these tips to help you stay on track!

And make sure you check your email, or back here tomorrow, for when we explore how treating work like play, can cure procrastination as well.

Furthermore, I encourage you to check out the amazing discounted offers and FREE trainings I have below, to help expand your horizons and make AMAZING and GROUNDBREAKING changes in your life, in 2018.

As always feel free to replay with questions, comments, concerns, and high fives!

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

Hope to see you there!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

P.S. JOIN OUR PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP!

(DAY 1 OF 3) The Cure for Procrastination: Forgiving Yourself

Dearest Subscriber,

First of all, greetings during the holiday season!

I hope you are finding ways to stay warm and take stock, whether its with family and friends, or taking time out to hibernate and rejuvenate in solitude.

I tend to do a little bit of both.

Here’s a picture of me and my third day in this sweat shirt, trying to figure out holiday filters and not succeeding very well  (obviously).

Here’s a picture of me and my sister on Christmas Eve, when I bothered to shower and actually had a great time going out to dinner and singing Karaoke, until I lost my voice (I do a mean Janis Joplin, “Piece of My Heart.”)

And this is a picture of my son, who called me on Christmas day to show me his fangs and tell me how much fun he was having at Disney World with his Papi.

Today, I’d like to share what I have learned about one thing that seems to plague people when it comes to this time of year, when we take stock of what we’ve done, and start turning towards what we want to accomplish…

Procrastination!

As 2017 winds down, I find myself reflecting on my resolutions from last year, and what I aim to accomplish in the next year.

And a few things have popped up for me, when it comes to the reasons why we do or do not accomplish the things we set out to, at the beginning of every year.

In a previous post, I mentioned that there are two things that can get us into trouble when it comes to following through on our goals and resolutions, and those are…

1. Dreaming Big
2. Procrastination

If you missed it, you can check it out here, on my blog, to learn more about how dreaming big can trip you up.

Today, I intend to make good on my promise to follow up with evidenced-based research that claims three things can improve your situation, if you are a chronic procrastinator…

• Forgiving yourself.
• Breaking your tasks up into bite-sized portions.
• Treating work like play.

Over the next three days, I would like to take a closer look at all three of these.

Today, let’s start with ‘forgiving yourself.’

Forgiving Yourself

Researchers and psychologists define procrastination as the voluntary delay of some important task that we intend to do, despite knowing that we’ll suffer as a result. And an inability to manage emotions seems to be its very foundation.

“While everybody may procrastinate, not everyone is a procrastinator,” says APS Fellow Joseph Ferrari, “to tell the chronic procrastinator to just do it would be like saying to a clinically depressed person, ‘cheer up’.”

Sympathizers of procrastination often say it doesn’t matter when a task gets done, so long as it’s eventually finished. Some even believe they work best under pressure.

But one study published in Psychological Science back in 1997 revealed the costs of procrastination far outweighed the temporary benefits. Procrastinators reported higher cumulative amounts of stress and illness.

True procrastinators didn’t just finish their work later — the quality of it suffered, as did their own well-being.

Why would procrastinators put themselves through that?

“The chronic procrastinator, the person who does this as a lifestyle, would rather have other people think that they lack effort than lacking ability,” says Ferrari.

In other words, procrastinators would rather be thought of as lazy, than incapable.

To my mind, this is actually perfectionism and fear of failure, which is ALL underscored by a deep-seeded sense of shame; a feeling which procrastinators are notorious for avoiding, by seeking out short-term escapes from the consequences of their actions (or inaction).

For example, a group of students were told a woman went on vacation and didn’t use sunscreen. When she came home she had a suspicious mole, but delayed in going to the doctor.

Procrastinators are likely to say things like, “Well at least she caught it before it got worse.” This statment releases the tension of the moment, opting for a rationalization that offers some mental and emotional relief.

Whereas non-procrastinators say things like, “She should have gone to the doctor sooner.” This statment takes in the tension of the moment, and makes it an applicable lesson; insight is derived from the discomfort.

So what is the solution for procrastinators?

Forgiveness and self-compassion.

A research team, led by Michael Wohl, reported in a 2010 issue of Personality and Individual Differences that students who forgave themselves after procrastinating on the first exam were less likely to delay studying for the second one.

They believe that procrastination is really a self-inflicted wound that gradually chips away at the most valuable resource in the world: time.

“It’s an existentially relevant problem, because it’s not getting on with life itself,” Whol says. “You only get a certain number of years. What are you doing?”

Amen!

This is  YOUR LIFE.

This is YOUR STORY.

No one is going to write it but YOU.
Make sure you check your email tomorrow, or come back here, for when we explore how to break down tasks into bite-sized portions, in order to make them more digestible.

And in the spirit of seizing the day, I encourage you to check out the amazing discounted offers and FREE trainings I have below, to help expand your horizons and make AMAZING and GROUNDBREAKING changes in your life, in 2018.

As always feel free to replay with questions, comments, concerns, and high fives!

 

These AMAZING trainings that are still available to you for our open enrollment period, December 1rd, 2017 to January 3rd, 2018.

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

Hope to see you there!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

P.S. JOIN OUR PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP!

New Year’s Resolutions…Why Aren’t They Resolved Already?

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, we have this tendency to set BIG, lofty goals for ourselves…things we couldn’t POSSIBLY complete, even in a year’s time.

Either because they are too many, too much, in too short of a time, or because they tackle aspects of our mental end emotional selves that we aren’t ACTUALLY ready to face, or lack the tools to address CONSISTENTLY.

I have found two things tend to impact our ability to follow through with our goals and/or resolutions, and that is…

1. Procrastination
2. Dreaming Big

1. Procrastination.

Researchers have found TRUE procrastinators actually struggle with emotional regulation, not their priorities; they feel shameful about a fear of not succeeding, and would rather appear lazy, than incapable.

The solution?

• Forgiving yourself.
• Breaking your tasks up into bite-sized portions.
• Treating work like play.

(Stay tuned for my next post where I back this up with evidenced-based research!)

2. Dreaming Big.

Dreamers have a tendency to get lost in fantasy (which is also a trait of true procrastinators) who are GREAT at visualizing the big picture, but NOT so great at visualizing each step it would take to climb that glorious mountain.

The solution is to visualize yourself CONSISTENTLY doing SMALL action steps that lead up to that pinnacle point.  And then DECIDE and COMMIT not just to the dream, but the itty bitty steps.

Now,  my private Facebook community of 380 therapists and healers, is for DREAMERS who are DONE procrastinating, and willing to learn the necessary steps to climbing their own personal Mt. Everest.

In this group, we support each other and uplift one another with a resounding…

“YOU CAN DO IT!”

Right after our last Facebook ads training, our abundant healer, Kristen Boyer, managed to attract over 100 clients to her private Facebook group, in only 10 days. 

Here is a bit of her journey in the program, and how she is experiencing this new influx for her practice…

What would you do with 100 new, potential clients in only 10 days?

THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!

• Why do you keep yourself small?
• Why do you keep telling yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow?”
• Why do you keep insisting that you don’t DESERVE it?
• Why do you have to be an “expert” to explore and share what only YOU can personally know, in your experience?

How long are you going to let all the rich material and content that you are just SITTING ON , collect dust?

When is it going to be time to STEP INTO YOUR POWER and your SOUL ASSIGNMENT?

When are you going to LET GO of your scarcity attitudes around money, and realize you have to spend it, to make it?

Who better to invest in you, than YOU???!!!!

Forget 2017.

Seriously.

“So long, 2017, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”

Time to STOP focusing on the negative.
Time to STOP REPELLING your abundances with anxiety, fear, and doomsday predictions.

This is  YOUR LIFE.

This is YOUR STORY.

No one is going to write it but YOU.

And the best way to take one small step towards BEST SELLING AUTHORSHIP, is to book a free consultation with ME!

Which you can do here.

This is a FREE business coaching session in which we take a look at your business and devise a plan of approach that might have you collecting $9000 in revenue per month…like me 🙂

Alternatively, check out these AMAZING trainings that are still available to you for our open enrollment period, December 1rd, 2017 to January 3rd, 2018.

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

REGISTER FOR THIS FREE TRAINING

Hope to see you there!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

P.S. JOIN OUR PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP!

[Guided Meditation: Learn to Receive] Releasing Shame, Guilt & Fucked Up Stories

[GUIDED MEDITATION: LEARNING TO RECEIVE]

Dearest Subscriber,

A couple of our new private Facebook group members, for THE ABUNDANT HEALER: 90 DAYS TO SKYROCKET YOUR CAREER signature program, reported for the initial intake questions…

 

“I just started my journey as a therapist and I feel I block abundance by not believing I can have it…I would like to learn how to allow myself to receive.”

 

“Sometimes I feel guilty charging for something I am naturally gifted in.”

 

And I felt that was SO P0WERFUL and ON POINT when it comes to the MAJOR blocks people have to abundance.

 

There are A LOT of stories we tell ourselves, about why we can or cannot have something.

 

And many of them get wrapped up int two things, in my observation…

 

1. What we think about our own deservedness

2. And what we think other people think about our own deservedness.

 

And as therapists and healers we have this propensity to get caught up in the idea that “being of service” means we have to sacrifice our quality of life to be “good servants.”

 

But the problem is, that keeps you small.

It keeps you begging after guilt.

It keeps you bent over shame’s knee.

 

And I guarantee you, whatever esoteric source of infinite energy and intelligence you believe in, is NOT served best by you begging and bent over anyone’s punitive ideas about right and wrong, good and bad, or what you are and are not deserving of receiving.

 

If you learn nothing else from this post, remember these three points I would like to DRILL into your brain and heart…

 

1. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR STORIES, WHETHER THEY ARE FORTUNATE OR UNFORTUNATE!

2. YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING!

3. NO ONE ELSE OWE’S YOU ANYTHING!

 

…Outside of respect and basic human decency in our social contracts. And if you accept this, you have to accept two more things…

 

1. YOU ALONE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHOICES.

2. OTHER PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIRS.

 

We have built these physical and psychic webs of guilt and shame and obligatory responsibility around social and cultural constructions that have infiltrated our subjective experiences to the point of self sabotage and abandonment.

 

And so, we are left with a scarcity mindset, because as is within, so is without, and when you waste time scrambling around to prove yourself worthy to people, you leave your home base unguarded, unfortified, and vulnerable to attack.

 

STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WERE MEANT TO LIVE IT, FROM PEOPLE AND INSTITUTIONS THAT ARE FUCKED UP!

 

You might love them. You might respect them. You might aspire to acquiring something they have one day. But guess what?

 

They can also be FUCKED UP.

 

And fucked up people, places, things, social and cultural mandates will NEVER be able to give you the permission and validation you seek.

 

Only YOU can do that.

 

Today’s guided meditation is going to help you do two things.

 

1. Locate wherever this guilt and shame is residing your body.

2. Kick it out, and replace it with a willingness to receive your BIRTHRIGHT.

 

I pray I am not alone in my sentiment on this.

 

Please leave your comments on what comes up for you below. I would love to read it!!!!

 

JOIN OUR PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP FOR THERAPISTS AND HEALERS READY TO STEP INTO THEIR SPIRITUAL AND FINANCIAL SOVEREIGNTY!

JOIN HERE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/362755377474811/

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com

7 Key Questions to Call in Soul Clients

My Darling Subscriber,
Wow!

We had a great training on Sunday on how to use Facebook Ads to start calling in ideal clients FAST.

Here are some of the goals participants of the training would like to achieve…

• Abundance!
• Financial freedom
• Freedom to travel more!
• Expansion of thought/purpose
• To feel confident and not second guess myself
• Relief from stress of finances and professional growth

And this training taps into a way to help you get there, without compromising your integrity as a therapist, or having to confront that icky sticky feeling of charging more for your services.

When you are exercising your creativity using alternative outlets–specifically, putting yourself out there online–you start to bring in alternative streams of revenue that relieve the pressure of trying to survive on a 1:1 business model.

In this presentation, we touched upon 7 Key Questions to help you hone in on what your clients need and want, and HOW TO WRITE YOUR MARKETING COPY so that it cuts through the noise and sings straight to your soul clients.

When we touched on this topic, one live participant responded…

“OMG, you’ve nailed the core issue- shame about selling…”

And that issue is SO pervasive among therapists and healers: associating worthiness issues and valuing the self with selling–and selling, with shame.

By the end of the training, it seemed we had tapped into something special, and I invited participants to book consultation calls with me.

We were lucky enough to have some individuals who’d previously had consultations with me on the call, and they had lovely things to say to the other attendees…

“My free consultation was amazing! I can look back at it to refresh my memory and keep me motivated!”

“The consultation helped me clarify that I am worth it!! I highly recommend  taking this first small step….”

“Do it! You’ll be sooooo happy you did, it’s FUN! Cartwheels!”

Based on this feedback I wanted to share this particular segment with you, it goes over these crucial 7 questions, if you want to write good marketing copy.

If you like what you see, I encourage you to take the full training HERE.

If you do decide to attend the training, you’ll receive a special offer on the full crash course.

And if you would like to learn more about THE ABUNDANT HEALER: 90 DAYS TO SKYROCKET YOUR CAREER program, or book a FREE consultation, go here.

I am sure we’ll be chatting soon!

Warmest regards,

Briana MacWilliam

TheAbundantHealer.net
CreativeArtsTherapiesOnline.com
BrianaMacWilliam.com